HARLEE and ASHLEE
I recently took
our only children, Harley (2 months) and Ashlee (2 years), to the doctor
for their well-baby appointments. Harley had the sniffles and Ashlee had
a cold, otherwise both were in perfect health. Harley was given
his first DPT, polio, and Hib shots. Ashlee received her first Hib
and MMR shots, as well as her third DPT and fourth polio shots.
After the vaccinations
I laid the children down for their naps. Harley woke first; his thighs
were red. I heard Ashlee wake and then I heard a 'THUMP!' Ashlee fell
flat on the floor. She cried out 'Mommy, me no walk!' I checked her over
and stood her up; there was no strength in either leg.
I called the hospital
and rushed Ashlee to the emergency ward. I left Harley with a responsible
woman to look after him while we were away. At the hospital we waited
more than 20 minutes for the doctor to finish his popcorn before he would
check Ashlee. He never touched her, nor was she undressed. The official
report stated that the child couldn't walk, 'no other problem.
When we returned
home, Harley was high-pitched screaming. The babysitter said it started
more than one-and-a-half hours before. He was inconsolable. He finally
screamed himself into exhaustion two hours later. I called the emergency
ward. They recommended a warm bath and told me it was 'nothing to worry
For ten days Harley's behavior changed. He barely slept, hardly ate, and seemed to be getting
worse. On May 17 at 9:00 a.m., my husband got up, checked on Harley,
and yelled out, 'Bonnie, get up, call the ambulance. Harley is dead!'
The state police
and county coroner arrived with the ambulance. The coroner peered into
the ambulance, never examined Harley, and stated, 'SIDS.' Harley was then
rushed away. My husband and I didn't get to see him again for more than
three days, until 1:00 p.m. on May 20 -- in his coffin!
My adopted parents
came to Harley's funeral. My father (I use that term loosely) screamed
out: 'Which one of you killed my grandson?' My husband's family stays
away; they think we should stop mourning for Harley and get on with our
I want to mention
the following points:
* The attendant giving
the vaccines never mentioned the possibility of side effects when we
were rushed through the signing of the releases.
* Ashlee has been
to doctors since her paralysis. They never documented our verbal concerns
regarding a connection to the vaccines.
* The autopsy lists
Harley as a 5-week-old baby; he was 9 weeks old.
* The pathology department
never received tissue samples. Also, Harley's blood arrived by U.S. mail
after an eleven-day wait; it was not shipped on dry ice.
* The doctor never
recorded the lot numbers of the vaccines. The manufacturers cannot help
us without this information.
* An administrator
at the Minot Air Force Base (where the vaccines were administered), told
us: 'Get on with your lives, drop this search. It's only a baby.'
* We were rejected
for compensation through the Federal Vaccine Compensation Act.
* Two U.S congressional
inquiries are underway to secure information regarding our children's
What is life like
today? Empty. The government is taking their time. Ashlee's medical future
is at risk. We cannot even test for permanent damage yet. It is sad that the
government does not care about our babies. They do not care that an innocent
child is dead because of their neglect, and desire to pretend everything
is okay. Our son is not able to rest in peace because of the bureaucratic
red-tape. Harley has been dead for more than two years. When will the
government stop running our lives, even after death? What is next?
My son, Andy, was
born June 16. He was healthy and full term. He had his first shot on August 18. He started screaming right away and continued to cry. He screamed and cried for the next few days, except when he fell
into a deep sleep. Also, when he was awake, he now had a glassy, odd look
in his eyes, as though he was looking right past us. He just wasn't right.
I took him to the
Emergency Room where I was told he was having 'a bad day.' I asked if
the shot had anything to do with his behavior. I was told 'no.' I brought
him home and knew something was wrong. I know now he suffered from encephalopathy
I did not know that
Andy had a reaction to his first shot. After his second shot he screamed,
and when we got home he went to sleep. I checked him and he was stiff
as a board with glaring eyes. He had no expression on his face and I got
no response. However, when I picked him up, his head was floppy. I held
him for 30 or 40 minutes. Then, as if nothing happened, he sat up. After
this episode I noticed a lot of jerking movements. I now know these were
About a week later
I was holding Andy on my lap and his legs went out, and his tongue hung
out; he had his first grand mal seizure. I took him to the doctor's office
the next day, but before I got him ready to go he had several more grand
mal seizures. The doctor told me it seemed like epilepsy to him and ordered
EEGs and blood work. The next day, back home in his high chair, we thought
he was choking on baby food. He was having another grand mal and we rushed
him to the doctor. They took Andy to Buffalo Children's Hospital by ambulance.
That is where we were confronted with what was wrong. The doctor asked
when he had the shot. I told her and she said don't get another.
From that day on
our lives were changed dramatically. We went from hospital to hospital
hoping we could find something to help our son. He has been on every medication
available and some that are experimental, all to no avail. When Andy was six
months old we noticed an uncommon type of reaction. He would look at our
kitchen floor and have a seizure. He could not look at screens or anything
with a weave, including grass, cement, jeans, and sweaters, to name a
few. As he got older I tried dark glasses on him; it seemed to help this
type of seizure to some degree.
and diets he has been on in his last eight years have been to no avail.
A few years ago, he had brain surgery that helped with the patterned seizures.
He continues to have grand mal clusters every two weeks. These last 12
to 15 hours he had about 30 seizures in this time period.
Andy is mentally
retarded and has symptoms of cerebral palsy. He wears leg braces and sometimes
a seizure helmet. His behavior is not good. Although he is 8 years old,
he is a 1 year old in many ways. He can't dress himself or color or write
or print. He goes to a special class.
We are with Andy
24 hours a day. He cannot be alone for 10 seconds. He is a danger to himself.
For 5 years Andy
could not look at a TV screen because it was an instant grand mal. As
I write this, Andy is unconscious from a bout of seizures. I have a lot
more I could tell you and show you.
Our relatives have
been pretty good, but our friends are few. Our whole life is Andy. Our
daughter has been showing signs of unhappiness. She misses out on a lot,
but we feel she'll be a better adult for this.
We did go through
the compensation program four years ago. However, this has caused some
problems for us, as Andy got his insurance canceled and cannot get Social
Security Insurance. But that is another story.
Our situation has
gotten a lot worse as Andy's condition has worsened. Thank you for listening.
I read your vaccine book too late.... My dearest son,
Spencer Joseph, died 10 hours after receiving his 4th dose of DPT, HIB,
and polio vaccines. He was 20 months old. I knew Spencer was
dead when I heard my husband wailing like an animal. I grabbed Spencer's
stiff and lifeless body and screamed, 'God, No, Not My Baby! He Can't
Be Dead!' I administered CPR for 15 minutes, pounded on his chest, and
yelled, 'Come Back Spencer, Come Back, Come Back!' Then I heard my
father say over the phone to 911, 'We've got a dead baby here.' Realization
hit. I opened Spencer's eyes, and he was dead. I then hugged his stiff
body and emitted sounds I didn't know any human being was capable of making.
I cannot adequately
express my horror, anger, and ultimate suffering. My life turned upside
down in one day, and each day that goes by I look at as one day closer
to death, one day closer to Spencer. Why? Because they
told me the benefits outweigh the risks. What does that really mean, and
why are these people allowed to play God? After educating myself further
[on vaccines], I realize I was lucky to have had Spencer for as long as
certificate said, 'Sudden and Unexpected Death; No Cause Found.' I have met numerous
times with [the pathologist] in an effort to have [tests done to detect
vaccine toxins]. He said he didn't take the blood in assayable [testable]
conditions. I asked him to do an immuno-fluorescence test, and had him
speak with Dr. William Torch [the medical researcher who found correlations
between vaccines and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome], but [the pathologist]
said it wouldn't yield anything. I asked him to do [another test], but
he said they don't do that test there. It's maddening and frustrating
BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP. Spencer was so special and loving that his mama
will not stop fighting until the day I die.
Spencer was my first
and only child. My husband and I are completely devastated. Now I will
channel all of my anger and my ultimate, unconditional love for my precious
baby, into this cause. No one should have to feel and know this living
I am writing to
you for a couple of reasons. First, let me congratulate
you on your courage and honesty, not to mention stamina, in writing your
book. Secondly, anytime you need help to express your campaign against 'killer vaccines' please
feel free to contact me. I joined a SIDS group to deal with the pain. All the so-called 'SIDS' babies fit classic vaccine adverse reactions. The [parents] are anti-vaccine for their surviving children. We have an educated
group fighting to educate others about adverse reactions. Third, I seek permission
to [share with others] excerpts from your book because I need to educate
unsuspecting mothers about my horror. Please allow this. I am bound and determined
to get the word out. I WISH EVERY SECOND OF MY EXISTENCE THAT I WOULD
HAVE KNOWN! Why did I find out after the fact?
If there is any
information regarding this issue that I may give to other mothers, please
send it to me. I would include a donation. I am not in this
for money. I'm in this to keep ANYONE from living my desolation. Thank
I have four children,
ages 3 to 14, three boys and a little girl. All of them had normal births
and were healthy babies. When Shana, our daughter, was three months old,
we took her in for her routine checkup and she was given her first round
of shots. Soon thereafter she came down with a high fever. We were instructed to give her a fever reducer to lower her temperature. Of course we were obedient to all of the doctor's orders, trusting that
with a sound medical background this was the proper thing to do. No one
ever mentioned to us that we even had a choice whether or not to vaccinate
After that day,
Shana developed a deep, croupy cough. Her voice got deeper and deeper.
She no longer slept after breastfeeding. Instead, she would arch her back
and scream as if she were in horrible pain. She lost her ability to move
her stools and we had to literally go up inside of her and pull her hard
stools out. I was told that she had problems with my breast milk. Like a fool, I put her on formula.
Meanwhile, our doctor ordered X rays, barium swallows, and hundreds of
dollars worth of useless tests to find the cause. Although I could hear
Shana choking and screaming in the hospital rooms, I was told that I wasn't
sanitary enough to go in and comfort her. My young children could also
hear her piercing screams from the waiting area. My husband and I
had no insurance to pay for this and even though we struggled to pay the
bills, the hospital put a lien against our home.
For the next six
months my poor baby never slept more than twenty minutes at a time, each
time waking up screaming and arching her back. It was difficult to hold
her during these spells. My husband and I took turns walking the floors,
feeding her, and pulling out stools. He was juggling law school and our
new business; I was trying to care for the business and three other children.
Shana fell way below
normal on the growth charts and actually stopped growing throughout the
entire six months. We were told that she might have Down Syndrome or a
neurological disorder. We switched doctors when our pediatrician told
us that she looked retarded. I know that I did not give birth to a retarded
trauma no one ever suggested a connection to the vaccines. So our new
doctor reinjected Shana with the shots. There was so much unrest during
this time that I can't recall how much additional damage was actually
During the next
several months Shana slowly started to come out of this state. After another
year she started to look and feel much better. By the age of four, the
only recognizable traits from these episodes were a deep, husky voice
and a croupy cough. She seemed normal, healthy, and strong. But her kindergarten
teacher recently informed us that it may be necessary for her to repeat
class for the third time. We sent her to summer school and they suggested
testing her for a learning disorder.
Shana is now receiving
the right instruction and care at a private school. In combination with
homeopathic remedies, my daughter will live a full, normal life. I thank
God for revealing the source of this terrible violation of human lives.
I hope that others will listen to the brave few who are telling the truth
about vaccinations in a world where we are taught to deny our instincts
in exchange for what is socially acceptable.
Many people ask
me what I do about vaccinations now. I used to fill in phony dates on
the vaccination forms so that my children could be accepted into camps,
schools, etc. Now I tell the truth -- that I will never again blindly
trust the so-called medical authorities. I make conscious decisions about
medicines, and I will teach my children the same. If my rights as an American
citizen to choose against poisoning my children are ever taken away, I'll
move. We really need to educate ourselves about vaccines and what true